Sexism has been a problem since time immemorial, and one of the most problematic perceptions that continue to dog women everywhere is the gatekeeping of their sexuality, where society feels the need to dictate the way a woman’s desires should be expressed or contained. And one of the most prominent countries where this continues to remain an issue is India.

Realising how these taboos and forms of control exist and perpetuate through everything from social structure to the myths and stories we tell, choreographer Aditi Mangaldas decided and felt compelled to confront them in the way she knows best: dance. And after months of internalisation and debate, research and discussion, all those thoughts and reflections culminated into a single, solo dance work with FORBIDDEN.

Drawing from a gamut of cultures and expressing through her practice of contemporary dance based on kathak, FORBIDDEN represents a quest for the liberation of women’s sexual desire, as Aditi traverses a spectrum of emotion and states of being, reclaiming and owning her own desire, ultimately asking audience members to ask themselves: why are women the world over sanctioned, judged, controlled, hounded and punished when they find the courage to embrace their own desires, in both conservative and liberal societies?

“I grew up with very liberal parents who always encouraged debate and questioning. But that freedom also came with the responsibility to face consequences when they happened,” says Aditi. “There was never the pressure to conform, and it pushed my spirit towards positive rebellion. So I’m very glad that that spirit never got snuffed out, and I’m very lucky compared to so many young people who end up getting boxed into something they’re told to do.”

That same spirit of freedom was what allowed her to eventually pursue dance as her full time career. “I don’t actually come from a dance family, but when I was very young, members of my family would notice how I had a natural tendency to jump onto a little table, trying to move and express myself, recognised my artistic tendencies, and sent me to explore the arts,” says Aditi. “I eventually chose dance as my primary medium, which I started training in when I was 5.”

For Aditi, kathak ended up being her chosen specialty, a classical Indian dance that has its roots in storytelling using hand movements and extensive footwork, body movements, flexibility and of course, facial expressions. “I fell in love with kathak because of my gurus, and it became a part of my life, without really making an active decision that this was going to be what I’d do with my career, it was all just very harmonious and organic.”

As much as she loved kathak, Aditi didn’t immediately jump onto it and decide to be a full-time dancer, but ended up finding another pursuit instead – a love for mathematics, even studying it for four years in university. But thereafter, she returned to her first love of storytelling through kathak, and the rest is history, becoming known for the richness and intricacy of her dance and choreography, and recognised with two of India’s most prestigious arts awards, both of which she declined due to compelling reasons.

Kathak specifically, gives her an outlet to explore and confront social concerns of the day, never sticking to just the classics and instead evolving the art form to develop her own contemporary dance vocabulary rooted in the classical. “Over the centuries, our stories have also changed, and I feel that to express them, I too must find a vocabulary of my own that can fully communicate these to my audiences,” she says. “I always knew I would have to develop it more to tell these stories to the best of my ability, using the ‘seed’ of my training to grow a tree from my passions, compulsions and sensibilities, bringing the form into a new era.”

On the idea of kathak as a ‘pure’ dance form and her potential detractors who criticise her for infusing the contemporary into them, Aditi is more than sure of herself and all that she’s done with the form. “If you go back in history far enough and really want to be a purist about it, I shouldn’t even be dancing because originally, only men used to dance kathak. But you see, the form itself is constantly rejuvenating itself, and where I go is determined by how honest I am to the moment where the dance flows and is influenced,” says Aditi. “There will always be connoisseurs and purists, and certainly, one should be open to criticism. It is important to build relationships and those bridges of trust, and to still remain open to listening. But at the end of the day, after sitting with it, you can decide if you want to be influenced by it, and sieve the truth from the opinion.”

On the process of creating her work, Aditi explains the length of time it takes, and how even FORBIDDEN was severely delayed by the pandemic. “There’s a lot of brewing involved, and absolutely no shortcuts. In developing it, I’ve worked with so many collaborators, where I started a conversation with three generations of men and women within my family to have a conversation about sexual desire, and that was what made me realise how all these taboos were so ingrained into our myths and stories, in popular media like film and how you hear about it in everyday news,” she says. “It eventually seeps into you, and influences you, like sponsored ads on social media, where even the most intelligent people may eventually fall into its trappings if exposed to it long enough.”

“So the first step was to unearth the taboos that existed within myself, and to find the courage to put it into dance to begin with, to express and say what I have to in the best possible way I can,” she adds. “I thought about how there were still taboos that were self-imposed despite all the liberation, of thinking of shame and being boxed up, of control and being punished for having the courage to say something. We see this all the time, where a man with multiple girlfriends is seen as a stud, but flip that around and a woman would be considered loose. The more sure a woman is of her sexuality, the more she owns it, the more she becomes judged. Women end up objectified, where even their own reproductive systems are subject to control. Society I suppose is scared of it, and of women having that kind of power.”

Since its premiere, FORBIDDEN has had several productions, in Bombay and three times in the UK, where Aditi and her team had no idea how anyone would receive such a fiery work. “We had no idea what to expect, and in Bombay, there was a huge amount of people who rushed onto the stage and thanked us for having the courage to say it, both women and even men with their girlfriends, some of whom were crying,” she says. “My shows always end with a metaphorical comma, where viewers can add their own experience to what I’ve shared. And if they are able to remember that moment even years later, it truly warms my heart and I am grateful to be able to give that experience to people. I think that the choice to even step into the theatre is an indicator of you being willing to see another point of view from the artists, to maybe be a part of that journey to experience something different, that if you’re lucky, is interesting or profound. To come into a show like this, is to come in with an open mind, and be ready to be changed. “

On how much this version she’ll be presenting at the Esplanade has changed since the beginning, Aditi emphasises the importance of curation and choice. “Polishing and enhancing it takes time, and as an artist, one of the hardest things to do is to learn to say no and edit down the piece, where I remove so much from the original work to make it flow better,” she says. “You have to learn not to get too attached to things, otherwise it becomes harder to cut them down. I actually keep a bag for every production, which is filled with thoughts and ideas scribbled onto paper napkins or boarding passes, and sometimes I’d look back on them years later, and some of them do actually make their way into my new works! But it’s so important to learn to put things aside, and by letting go of whatever is unnecessary, it distils the piece down to what it should be.”

And as for how she feels about the state of female desire in society itself, Aditi believes that there must and always will be some form of hope. “If there was no hope, then there would be no FORBIDDEN. There has been progress, no matter how small, and you must have hope to keep pushing forward,” she says. “Many countries see you taking two steps forward, one step back, and sometimes even more than that, but you can’t give up, for the balance and betterment of all forms of gender and all divisions, to give equal opportunities to people everywhere. I’m not a social activist, so my only way to be able to narrate these burning questions is through my dance. I may not have the answers, but I hope that by asking my questions, it opens some small doors for reflection that may help other people come to the answers.”

As for how she prepares herself both mentally and physically for the piece, Aditi is well-aware of the emotional drain it can have on her as the performer. “When you are onstage, you empty yourself out, and to do that takes a lot of training, which itself comes with a lot of discipline, where your body and mind is honed to be able to execute what you wish to,” she says. “But as I grow older, I also find that it’s important to find that centre and sense of calm. That doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’ve been exploring more of that awareness of breath and meditation. FORBIDDEN is a piece that goes from the innocent to the ferocious, and sometimes I find myself completely drained after a couple of runs. Coming back to the idea of breath, that’s why it’s so important to have that exhalation at the end of it all, and to be able to put it all into perspective for your own sanity.”

“Look at all the pain and suffering in the world, but also look at all the joys that exist alongside them,” she concludes. “We are but a small drop in this wide world, and you have to let your emotions and thoughts melt into the infinite nature of life, otherwise you’ll end up being suffocated and exhausted. That’s why you have to take the time to sit, or take a walk and look at nature or watch a silly film.”

FORBIDDEN plays at the Singtel Waterfront Theatre from 24th to 25th November 2023. Tickets available here

Kalaa Utsavam – Indian Festival of Arts 2023 runs from 17th to 26th November 2023. Full programme and lineup available here

Production Credits:

Concept, Choreography and Performance: Aditi Mangaldas Dramaturge: Farooq Chaudhry Lighting Design: Michael Hulls Music Composition: Nicki Wells Costume Design: Kimie Nakano Mentor: Morag Deyes Commissioned by: Aditi Mangaldas Dance Company – The Drishtikon Dance Foundation Co-Commissioned by: Sadler’s Wells, London; National Centre for The Performing Arts, Mumbai; Esplanade – Theatres on the Bay, Singapore Supported by: Dance City, Newcastle and Rajika Puri, USA